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This Season 
 Match Report 2000-01 - mackems (a) 
 Premier Reserve League - North
Date: Mon 19th February 2001, 7.45pm.

Venue: Stadium of bed-wetters 

Conditions: As miserable as ever, the smogs / mackem fixation with child entertainment persisting. This time a trio of 14 year old lassies miming and gyrating to some third-rate S Club 7 rip-off in the centre circle were served up for our "delight".


mackems 3 - 1 Newcastle United


16 mins. After threatening once or twice in the opening stages, the home side took the lead when a corner bounced in the United area before being picked up by Kilbane, who knocked it back across the box. Lumsdon was perfectly placed to convert with a close range shot. 0-1

17 mins.  A suspiciously offside-looking McCartney turned home a loose ball from six yards out, after Karelse had blocked a Thirlwell effort but had been unable to hold on to the ball. 0-2

26 mins.  After Kerr picked up possession on the United and combined with Green to outwit the full back, the resultant centre ended up at the feet of Bonvin, who drilled home a low shot from close range to give the visitors a lifeline 1-2

Half time: mackems 2 Newcastle 1

90 mins.  With Newcastle in their opponents half in a vain search for an equaliser, a sharp ball out of defence for the home side saw Proctor in on Karelse's goal with defenders left floundering, and he thumped home the ball to seal the win 1-3

Full time: mackems 3 Newcastle 1

Match Highlights

to follow...

6 mins
Danger for United as a failure to get a tackle in allowed Proctor to hook the ball to Lumsdon. Thankfully his snap shot was parried by the onrushing Karelse.

8 mins United's first excursion of the evening into the mackem penalty area, Bonvin crossing for LuaLua to attempt a weak shot that the 'keeper gathered easily.

16 mins 1-0 to the mackems (see above)

17 mins 2-0 to the mackems (see above)

26 mins United get a goal back (see above)

27 mins Confusion and chaos, as Newcastle initially thought they'd scored a lightning equaliser, only to find that the ball had passed wide of the post. Glass had battled with a defender to run on to a Bonvin through ball and shot from the edge of the box. From the opposite end of the ground, his shot seemed to flash wide and strike the post supporting the goalnet. 

However, the reaction of Glass and his colleagues suggested that the ball had entered the goal, which was apparently confirmed by the mackem keeper walking into his net and bringing the ball out. TV replays were inconclusive, but eventually it transpired that the shot had gone wide, bounced back from behind the goal and somehow ended up coming back through the back of the net.

27 mins An incandescent Tommy Craig was by now on the field of play as the mackems broke forward after (correctly) taking a by-kick. Craig was eventually led back to his dugout by the fourth official.

29 mins LuaLua missed a great chance to equalise legitimately after beating off the attentions of a defender, only to shoot over the bar when confronted with an open goal.

33 mins A crude tackle on Proctor by Bernard saw the yellow card rightly produced.

36 mins With Stuart Green in obvious distress, the referee finally allowed the Newcastle trainer to come to his aid, and he was led off the pitch clutching his arm.

45 mins Another let-off for Newcastle, as an unmarked Proctor somehow only hit a post with his shot from inside the box, Karelse standing motionless. The ball rebounded out to a player on the mackem left, but his low centre whistled across the area and away to safety.

53 mins United had come out for the second half desperate to try and get back on level terms, and after a Glass run down the left, his cross fell to Steve Caldwell who volleyed over. 

59 mins More pressure from Newcastle, who looked dangerous the odd time that they managed to not be caught offside. This time Glass and Bonvin set up Boyd for a shot from a central position, but he also ballooned his effort high over the bar.

62 mins LuaLua again had coach Tommy Craig looking to the Heavens in despair as he ran on to a Glass pass only to miscue his shot when well placed.

73 mins This time LuaLua managed to stay on his feet, but still missed when confronted with a one on one situation with the mackem 'keeper, to the groans of the toon fans sat behind the goal.

75 mins With time ticking away, Steve Caldwell was almost a extra attacker and he won a corner with his header from Boyd's first-time centre, sub Coppinger having begun the move.

80 mins. Time for some more profligacy in front of goal from LuaLua, who anticipated a Kerr pass lofted over the oncoming defence, only to send his angled shot straight at the 'keeper.

90 mins 3-1 to the mackems (see above)


We Said

Tommy Craig, speaking about his animated response to the "equaliser", said:  

"I apologised to the officials at half-time. My first thought was that the ball had gone in, but I've since been assured that it came back from a stanchion behind the goal."

"In the goals against column, I think we're averaging two per game and you just cannot have that. Like I've said before, for although we are playing well, if we continue to lose goals at that rate, it can mean that the confidence takes a knock.

"In the first 20 minutes I felt we were second best to every ball. In a derby game that should not happen and we gave ourselves a mountain to climb. Chances did come our way but we paid the price for not converting them, and I don't know how many times I've had to say that this season.

"Sunderland are a difficult side to break down and kept working hard throughout the game, but I felt some of the flowing football we've shown recently was missing."

Stephen Glass, the goalscorer who wasn't, commented:

"It was very disappointing to lose - every time you play Sunderland you want to beat them.

"We had a poor start but went on to have a few chances, but could only take one of them. I thought I'd equalized, but the ball had just gone the wrong side of the post and came back through the netting. But there's still the Premiership game at the Stadium of Light, and we've got every chance in that one. That's a game I'd love to be involved in as I've never played in a Tyne-Wear derby. I've been at the game and there's a very special atmosphere generated by the fans."


A massively disappointing night on Wearside, as we tamely surrendered our unbeaten record at the new ground (3 draws last season from the seniors, reserves and youth cup.) We were guilty of slapdash defending and unintelligent attacking, spurning the chances we did manage to create. An apparent attempt by LuaLua to record the highest number of offsides in one game at the stadium of plight has been reported to the Guinness Book of records for verification.....

United midfielder Stuart Green left the pitch in apparent agony, having dislocated his right shoulder on a night when nothing went right for us. He was OK after a trip to hospital but will be absent for at least a month, at a time when the midfield at senior level is looking a little threadbare - however his time will undoubtedly come again....

I could go on about ignorant stewarding, over-zealous body searches by the local coppers and the fact once again, we were seated next to the unwashed of Wearside with just the 40,000+ seats unused elsewhere, but what's the point? Anyone with an ounce of grey matter knows what a small-minded bunch of heathens inhabit this backwater. By dirtying our feet in the place we know what we'll have to put up with...... 

A night best forgotten then, but at least the local pond life didn't nick the wheels off our car, and were able to get the hell out of this foul pit within minutes of the final whistle.

Chant of the night - in response to some drivel about going to Europe, the toon fans responded with "will you fly from Newcastle?" Of course, the inevitable key jangling ritual was indulged in with great gusto.....


Page last updated 19 February, 2012