As expected, United failed to pull off their 'Mission Impossible' on Sunday afternoon in front of an Anfield crowd including James Bond himself, Daniel Craig. And Alan Shearer's side started to self-destruct when Joey Barton marked his return to Merseyside with yet another violent outburst, leaving an opponent on a stretcher and the midfielder out of our final three games.

Some early pressure from a Newcastle side with Peter Lovenkrands preferred to Michael Owen as support to Obafemi Martins and Mark Viduka raised hopes of finding the net here for the first time in over five hours of play. However, efforts from each of the front trio failed to force Reina into a save - although Viduka should have done so when he looped his close-range effort over the bar.

By then though reality had intervened at the other end, as the Reds made light of the absence of hamstrung striker Fernando Torres to net twice in the first half hour. Alonso then struck the woodwork as the home side moved up a gear and frequently looked like adding to their tally - no sign today of the Rafa "hand jive" signal that so enraged Sam Allardyce in a recent game here...

The second half was slightly delayed due to the visitors having only nine men on the field - Viduka lumbering on after Gutierrez had replaced Lovenkrands (who took a whack when colliding with Kop End hoardings earlier).

Further home goals looked likely but the Reds went off the boil and dragged numerous shots wide of the target before Alonso hit the crossbar once again. At the other end United had barely been sighted at all and with time running out, Shearer prepared to bring on Andy Carroll and Owen - only for events on the field to force him into a hasty rethink.

Joey Barton had cut a fairly low-profile figure on his return to the lineup after an eleven game absence through injury - with only a couple of minor spats to report....until the game entered the 77th minute.

At that point he propelled himself into a needless lunge on Alonso down near the corner flag at the Kop End, which left the Spaniard laid out on the touchline and Barton red-carded, referee Phil Dowd ignoring his protestations of having played the ball.

Later TV replays of the tackle confirmed that it was reckless, but perhaps not quite as awful as first thought. Given the identity of the perpetrator and his previous though it's now open season again on the player - although it can be argued that Kevin Nolan's tackle on Everton's Anichebe three months ago was "worse" and equally as ill-timed from a team perspective.  

Owen duly appeared in place of Martins - who had been indicating his desire to depart since before half time and was duly booed by some Newcastle fans - while Carroll sat down and Kevin Nolan was introduced instead.

Lucas meanwhile replaced Alonso, who disappeared down the tunnel on a stretcher. And within eight minutes of his arrival, the Brazilian midfielder scored his first Premier League goal with ease to see his side score three times for the fifth successive game - a feat they last achieved back in 1979.

Michael Owen did manage one shot on goal, but an attempted lob failed to clear Reina and an offside flag looked to have been raised - his major contribution on an afternoon when he didn't even warrant any wagging from his former fans.

There was then just time for Steven Gerrard to rattle Harper's crossbar for a third time before the final whistle blew, on an afternoon when Liverpool never looked remotely in danger of losing an unbeaten home league record that now stretches to 29 games.

And still just one goal scored during his five matches in charge, Alan Shearer applauded the efforts of the away fans before making for the away dressing room, their chants of "Shearer get your boots on" ringing in his ears.

This was an entirely expected setback on a ground when better Newcastle sides than this have been beaten as comprehensively and after Shay Given single-handedly kept the score down at SJP, credit is due to Steve Harper for doing his bit this time out. However if we had to pick a Newcastle man of the match, it would probably be the goal frames.....

But while we were immeasurably behind Liverpool in the skill, guile and confidence stakes, to be lacking in work rate and organisation is infinitely more depressing - Kuyt on his own working harder than our entire front line. Regardless of the opposition, Shearer is entitled to be asking for - and receiving - more than he's getting currently.

If anyone had turned up at Anfield unaware of the fact that over 40 points separated these two sides, then casual observation of our warm-up routine would have given a clue as to the lack of basic proficiency - Newcastle's laughable attempt at shooting practice about on a par with the most useless of the fan groups who do the "It's a Knockout" type kick-in on Soccer AM.  

The action now moves on to SJP on Monday week, with United facing a smoggy side equally desperate for a win - but knowing that Hull City will have played twice by then. (Monday at Villa then Saturday at home to Stoke).

On the 20th anniversary of our last relegation though, the chances of avoiding another demotion were hardly enhanced by the scoreline, our collective performance or the buffoonery of a certain individual.

If we have to go down to the Championship to rid ourselves of the clowns and conmen that pollute the dressing room, that might not be the end of the world. Sunday also brought news of Birmingham joining Wolves in the top flight next season, while Barnsley remained in the Championship at the expense of Norwich - that's at least one bloody awful trip off the list were we to fall...

Biffa