16mins Steven Taylor pushed forward in possession, setting Yoan Gouffran away down the left before slipping a pass infield for Yohan Cabaye to finish with a firm low shot in front of the Trevor Brooking Stand 1-0

33mins A smooth passing exchange between Cheick Tiote and Vurnon opened up space for Sissoko to cross from the right and Loic Remy to control the ball on his chest, before poking home from close range. 2-0

45+2mins Razvan Rat's cross from the left was missed by Steve Taylor and then forced beyond Tim Krul from six yards by a combination of Carlton Cole and Mike Williamson, with the defender seemingly getting the final touch. A Premier League panel later credited it to Cole. 2-1

Half time: Hammers 1 Magpies 2

90+5mins Andy Carroll's clumsy foul on Hatem Ben Arfa just outside the West Ham area was duly punished by Yohan Cabaye's perfectly-executed free kick in front of the away section 3-1

Full time: Hammers 1 Magpies 3

Big Sham:

"Our defensive frailties were exposed in the first half and unfortunately a spirited fight back in the second half hasn't got us anything, but we'll keep our chins up because we've got 16 games to keep ourselves in the Premier League.

"It was about our defensive lapses rather than Newcastle's quality, even though they were two good finishes. Our back four today never played together. You don't get that solid unit when players don't play together.

"There comes a time when the players have to realise that it doesn't matter about performances any more and it just becomes about results.

"I don't care what anyone says, we do what we have been doing all season - it's the medical side that decide on how we get Andy Carroll back fit and playing, not anyone else.

"My decision, via the medical process, says that if you risk any more than that, then you risk the lad getting injured again. Is that what we want? He is our biggest major asset that we have signed and we want him on the pitch playing every week. We have to do that slowly.

“He has his own procedure to make sure he’s doing the right warm-up. When players are left on their own, they wander up and down the touchline and watch the game, like everybody else. 

"The FA does not allow a sports scientist to take that warm-up on the touchlines, for whatever bizarre reason. So Andy comes inside and gets a thorough warm-up with the sports scientist, who is not allowed to do it on the sidelines.”

Inspired by Yohan Cabaye, Newcastle halted their four game losing sequence on Saturday with a deserved but slightly nervy win in what is fast becoming the club's second favourite city.

This success means that United have returned with maximum points from each of their last four visits to London - QPR, Spurs, Palace and now West Ham - blowing away a long-standing tradition of underachievement for the black and whites in the capital city.

Not for the first time, Cabaye took centre stage to orchestrate a sixth away victory this season, netting twice to top off a masterly midfield performance. Loic Remy also ended his mini-goal drought and further goals should have followed, as a convincing win looked likely against a pitiful home side.

Fabricio Coloccini's injury and Mathieu Debuchy's ban mean that Newcastle were unchanged from the starting XI who gave Manchester City a run for their money the previous weekend and they went ahead after sixteen minutes, Cabaye netting once again on the road.

And barely three minutes later the lead was almost doubled, only for Gouffran to see his shot cleared off the line, Newcastle increasingly dominating the midfield area and beginning to exploit weaknesses in a makeshift Hammers defence.

Cabaye then picked out Moussa Sissoko's run to leave him one on one on Adrian, but a weak shot allowed Adrian to save at the second attempt. Cabaye himself then had sight of goal but shot narrowly wide from distance.

Newcastle's ascendancy was reflected by a second goal; keen-eyed viewers spotting that Loic Remy was wearing a nameless no.5 shirt as he netted. That followed a head injury minutes earlier that required him to change his own bloodied top. He duly reappeared clad in a fresh Remy 14 shirt for the second half - and to further confuse the unwary, Newcastle's unallocated squad number 5 was mistakenly credited to the now-departed Danny Simpson in the programme.
 
That should have seen the floodgates open, with West Ham looking punch drunk and the visitors rampaging forward to create chances for Cabaye, Tiote and Remy. Rather than taking a deservedly decisive lead into the break though, an unfortunate Mike Williamson own goal during first half added time gave Big Sham's side a foothold in the contest that their poor performance barely merited.

It was tough on the visitors and Williamson in particular who had gobbled up the relentless barrage of high balls that Big Sam's masterplan dictated - bringing back bad memories for travelling fans and increasing discontent around the stadium from those currently suffering. 

The sight of Andy Carroll warming up as the second half began revitalised Hammers fans and players alike, but before the old boy appeared, Cole astonishingly put an inviting cross from Matthew Taylor wide of the target from close range - a big let-off for Alan Pardew's side.

Sporting a ridiculously bushy beard, Carroll's arrival was the signal for even more aerial bombardment from the Hammers, the Geordie-born forward missing a glaring opportunity to score against his former side on 76 minutes - ballooning a first time shot over from close range.

The replacement of Anita by Shola Ameobi was a clear attempt to try and retain possession up front, but it allowed West Ham to get a toehold in midfield and try to fashion some slightly more intelligent forward forays. Krul had little to do though as a defence now including Paul Dummett (on for Santon) held firm; James Collins firing wide after a corner was only partially cleared.  

As had been the case last week with the Samir Nasri and Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa incident, a stoppage due to injury disrupted the pattern of play - this time an accidental clash of heads between Sissoko and Rat taking some of the heat out of the contest as physios worked on both.

The slightly wayward forward probing of Hatem Ben Arfa then bore fruit deep into added time - the substitute going down under challenge from Carroll outside the box. Up stepped Cabaye to curl a right-footed free-kick over the wall between Adrian and his right hand post - the 'keeper reaching the ball but only able to tip it onto the upright and into the net - although the hopeless sightlines meant that there was a momentary pause before mass celebrations behind the goal broke out.

TV cameras caught gum-chewing Allardyce suffering at pitchside - muttering significantly more expletives than Pardew's headline-making rant last week but presumably to himself (he being without doubt a f**king old c*nt....)

The win ensured United remained in what looks to be our designated position for this season - eighth - sitting five points clear of Southampton and a massive 12 ahead of tenth-placed side, Aston Villa.

And in contrast to previous campaigns when the players have seemingly donned flip flops in the game before their mid-season break, our current crop can reflect on a job well done for the most part as they head to Abu Dhabi before the visit to Norwich in ten days time.

Inevitably much of that period will be taken up by speculation over the future of our talismanic number four, who has evolved from a sulky pain in the derriere when the last transfer window closed into a fundamental part of this team. Quite simply, when Cabaye plays, the rest follow suit and our fortunes rise accordingly. 

Being at the top of his game though means that's he's also in a position of maximum value. And although he seems happy to complete his World Cup preparations with us, it remains to be seen whether his employers are similarly minded - or cash in as per Andy Carroll. Enjoy him while you can.


Biffa