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"Approx. 1982 me and two mates were in the E wing paddock next to Leazes end, we were playing Grimsby. I was about 13. My mate said 'lets give the V's to the away fans.' We did so, and after a minute a big copper came up to me( me being the tallest) and said 'under the barrier son' 
( the policeman later exaggerated the tale of events by saying that I was swearing as well - I wasn't - honest). I got led out around the touchline to a chorus of "he is a Geordie, a Geordie boot boy". I was full of mixed emotions, thousands of people singing at you and at the same time actually p*****g myself with fear.

"I got bound over for twelve months. 

"Approx. 1984 my mate Squinty got thrown out for trying to start a song off called 'singing in the wheelchairs' - I remember the policeman saying to him 'get out you little scrotum' 

"Boxing Day 1986. In the Leazes end, we were playing Everton and for some reason my mate GH (standing next to a copper) shouted at the top of his voice in the direction of ther Everton fans "F**k off you f*****g scouse b******s. 

"We tried to talk him out of Market Street nick but to no avail...." 

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Occasion: Charlton (a) September 1988 
Location:  Selhurst Park
Guilty Party: TB

"I was arrested for sticking my fingers up after Charlton had gone 1-0 up, taken to a police room at the back of the open away terrace where my picture and fingerprints were taken, given a life ban from Selhurst Park and thrown out. 

"I walked 10 feet up to the first turnstile, and paid back in again to see us get a point."


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Occasion: QPR (a) Feb 1995
Location:  Loftus Road
Guilty Party:  AM

"I was in the home end at Loftus Road when I saw this other Toon fan playing up. I stopped to chat to the steward whilst the boys-in-blue ejected him but the noise meant he could not hear me so I shouted and waved my arms about, as you do when you have been drinking since 11am. 

"Precisely 45 seconds later I was outside the ground, having been told I was threatening a steward."

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Occasion: Luton (a) Late 1980's  
Location: Kenilworth Road 
Guilty Party: SM 

"The Toon played at Luton after they brought in their infamous away fans ban. Naturally this did little to stop the usual intrepid hordes making their way down, so by the time we turned up outside the ground after the customary skinful there were Geordies all over the place trying to blag their way in.

"We tried everything to get in, but the stewards wouldn't budge-without one of those membership cards you had no chance. As a result, we were left to wander the streets, but after the game had kicked off a friendly Asian family whose house overlooked Kenilworth Road offered to let us peer over their garden fence and get a free (very limited) view of the action. There must have been about 5 of us standing on top of their garden shed, shouting our heads off with the usual "With an N and an E.." so it didn't take long for the Luton fans inside the ground to notice and start giving us some verbals in return.

"A railway line separated the house from the ground, and after about 5 minutes of singing we were amazed to see a swarm of coppers running up the embankment at the same time as more came bursting through front of the house. We were hauled down from the shed and chucked into the back of a van whilst the Asian family looked on in complete bemusement. The coppers took us into 'protective custody' until the match was over, after which were let free only to be immediately pounced by a bunch of home fans in a chippy.

"Not exactly an ejection from the ground I know, but a good tale anyway!"

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Occasion: Various 
Location: St James' Park
Guilty Party: PT

"One of my mates (who shall remain nameless) was stood in the Leazes End beside the away fans and after one of their strikers missed a sitter, my mate decided to show his disapproval by giving a certain one handed gesture to the opposition fans. Unfortunately for him, he'd been spotted by one of the polis and two of them promptly marched in and escorted him out. He only received a caution, probably due to the fact that the police felt he'd been punished enough after they had made him phone his mam and get her to collect him because he'd been arrested for making 'masturbatory gestures to the opposition supporters'!

"The second occasion was Wolves at home on Boxing Day 1992, the promotion season. By this time I was a season ticket holder and sat in the East stand near the Leazes End. As usual the midlands team were receiving the usual (miner's strike) chants of "scabs" and so on. 

"Then, after about half an hour, one lad who sat in the row in front of me got up and left his seat. I thought nothing of it and assumed he'd gone to the bog or to get a pie or something. A minute later he appeared on the track in front of the away supporters in the east corner of the Leazes. 

"After a few gestures, he suddenly jumped into them and started scuffling with 4 or 5 of their supporters. The polis quickly jumped in and hauled him out and marched him off (no doubt saving him from serious damage). Needless to say, his season ticket was presumably revoked and we never saw him again...."

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Occasion:  Bradford (a) 2001
Location:  Valley Parade
Guilty Party:  John Davison

"My son graduated from Bradford University and came back home but was unable to get any work and moved back down there. Bradford away was an obvious away game and so me (48 year old schoolteacher and chairman of a local branch of the Mags, son, no. 2 son and 53 year old brother-in-law and a civilian worker for the police went down for the game).

"When we got there we found ourselves in the side near the Bradford Kop where everyone politely applauded and someone apologised to me about a man who was shouting (honestly!). 

"0-1 down- kept decorum 

"0-2 down- sat on hands after the worst penalty decision seen in a long time (Robert Lee shoulder charge-a disgrace 1-2 down.

"1-2 Carl Cort goal - said " Yes " in a low voice and was restrained by sons.

"2-2 Couldn't hold it in any longer and went ballistic. Stewards appeared from everywhere and I was told I could not stay, mainly because of the behaviour of the Man City fans the home game before ( If you were at Maine Road this season you will understand).

"Bradford fans asked the stewards if I could stay as I was not doing any harm but they would have none of it. So I was forcibly ejected for celebrating. On interrogating the Brother-in-law they decide to eject him also. 

"They grill my two sons who deny ever seeing me before and let them stay. So we get marched out and put outside with 10 minutes left. The chief steward is now fulfilled (tosser) and walks off. The none chief steward apologises and says he will watch the game with his back to us. 

"As he does this we nick back in and run up the stairs and sit in the tier above. All is well. I even say nothing when Cort misses a sitter with 2 minutes left. Guess what ?. The Chief Steward comes upstairs and sees us and we get hoyed out for a second time!!!"

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Occasion: Mackems (h) New Years Day 1985
Location: St.James' Park 
Guilty Party: Couldn't possibly even use the initials of this 'un...

"I couldn't get a ticket for the home end, but one of my friend's had her 
brother's ticket. Only problem was that it was for the mackem end, with us living in halfy-halfy Washington.

"I remember both of their black players got sent off and their was a lot of 
monkey noises going on, (from the Sun'lun areas as well, I might add)...but I digress. 

"Beardsley completed his hat trick and all this being quiet became a bit too much for me and I had to show my appreciation. So I climbed on top of this mackems shoulders, where I whipped off me top and took me bra off. It was a freezing day, so me "thrupennies" were very hard. 

"I shouted 'Peter, this is for you' and the next thing I knew, this copper lunged onto the mackem, and chucked us both out - I didn't even have time to retrieve me clothes. 

"The mackem was a bit bemused, but he lend me his jacket. I hate to tell you this, but we went to a pub later on the Quayside and he ended up slipping me one. We're married now."

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Occasion: Aston Villa (a)
Location: Villa Park
Guilty Party: PR 

"I was staying the weekend with some Villa fans I'd met at college, and we all went down to the game in one car. I headed off to the away end & arranged to meet back at the car after the game. We went 1-0 up after about 5 minutes when Gazza scored in front of the Toon Army, and we were celebrating for about 15 minutes until they equalised.

"The few Villa fans there that day started singing (a very rare sound) 'You're not Singin' any more', to which most of the lads gave a similar salute, and shouted 'Aaarrgghhh!'

"Next thing I knew, my arms were locked behind my back, and I was marched out of the tunnel in front of our fans for 'behaviour likely to incite a riot'. I was then told that I had been warned on several occasions about this. When I complained that I had not actually received any warning, I was told 'we told your mates at the back to pass the message on...' Unfortunately as there were about 3000 Geordies in there, and no matter how much everyone must have tried to pass this message on, it hadn't got as far as me by then....

"The best thing was that there were a load of my old school mates that I hadn't seen for a while were also chucked out, so we had a good chat outside the ground during the second half. The worst part was that I missed a brilliant winner from Peter Beardsley that I still haven't seen to this day. Mind, we all got back in at the end to celebrate a rare away victory."

When I got back to the car, news of my adventure was a great consolation to the Villa fans who had to endure me for the rest of the weekend.

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Occasion:  Leeds (h) 2000
Location:  St.James' Park
Guilty Party: The Doc

"As a respectable farther these days I'll have to tell a mild tale of fooling the filth. during this seasons match at home to Leeds. 

I was lucky enough to have got a ticket not to far from those Yorkshire puddings. after enduring the taunts, due to Leeds scoring first, I started to voice my support for the lads - admittedly a little on the abusive side.

However, at halftime the old bill approached me, having had a complaint!
I offered my apologies and headed back to my seat only, to be manhandled and told I was out.

"Obviously I wasn't going take it with out a fight so once out side I headed straight for the 1892 club entrance, informing the burly doorman I'd been moving my car,  "Nee bother kidda" and back to my seat I headed. 

"It took some sharp eyed 15 minutes to spot me but they did. The lads around did their best to delay the eviction but I was oot on me ear again! Having got on once why not again? After a slight adjustment to my reason (forgot to lock the motor) I was back in! It didn't take the filth long to spot me again. with a lot more force and embarrassment I was out again. 

"I took a stroll around the ground and back to behind the Milburn, up the stairs and..... back in to the ground. this time however I settled for a TV monitor in the bar and the last 15 minutes sitting comfortably. 

"ps the swallow dive into the wolves fans packed in to the leazes corner is another classic...."

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Occasion: Sheffield Wednesday (h) May 1983
Location: St.James' Park
Guilty Party: GW & KD

"Me and my mate, who I'll refer to with only his initials KD went into the Leazes end as it was then (remember - 27 steps and a 12 foot wall behind that the kids were sometimes allowed to sit on).

"Of course we had to do the usual trip roond all the boozers in the toon first, finally leaving The Darn Crook at 2.55pm and getting in just after kick off. As I remember through very glassy eyes the final score was 1 - 1, Wednesday having taken the lead first to which their support of some 1,000 in the terrace alongside us gave the obligatory cheer and pogo celebration.

"Later in the game the lads duly got the equaliser and KD decided this was it. Up on the concrete crash barrier giving it "You Yorkshire bankers, swivel on that", etc, etc accompanied by various finger expletives. Down he came off the barrier and within 30 seconds was having the collar on his bright green Lebreve jacket felt. "How did you know it was me?" came the innocent cry. Well I think the jacket too loud for any built up area may have had something to do with his downfall.

"Apparently once outside he got the obligatory lecture from the boys in blue, 'You're a sensible lad, got a good job, should know better, etc'. 
Yeah - quite refreshing for the polis of the time who generally needed little excuse to stove heeds in.

"Of course KD learned loads from this, I found him a couple of hours later sitting unconscious on the pavement outside the chippy in the Haymarket with his fish 'n' chips stone caad on his lap.

"Once woken he happily engaged in further drunken capers round the Bigg Market till yon time. What a bloke!"

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Continued

Biffa