Actually, that description is a grave injustice to the quality of this release. Right from the off it’s packed full of little bits and pieces to savour, with wor Kev striding out of the players tunnel at a deserted St.James’ in what looks like a thrift shop jacket, to a backdrop of the sadly-missed standing paddocks. He then stations himself in an executive box in the Milburn stand, overlooking that abortion of a standing Leazes end the McKeags and Westwoods bequeathed us, and we’re off….

Taking a position at a time, our hero recites facts and figures about candidates for his selection in his dream team, and then plumps for his chosen player and explains why. While the producers acknowledge the history of the club in the pre-TV era with selections from the pre-war Championship sides, the lack of footage inevitably means that the McWilliams and Hudspeths of this world are upstaged by their more modern counterparts.

It’s all pleasant enough stuff though, with Keegan waffling away with much enthusiasm, and plenty footage of goals and incidents, which are the real meat of the tape. In 64 minutes no less than 91 different goals are played (104 with repeat runs) and as well as the inevitable 50’s Wembley winners and Supermac debut, a wealth of material otherwise commercially unavailable appears. Pleasingly the footage is presented with no flashy graphics to detract from the quality of the action (current video producers take note), and even the Brian Moore voiceovers "after the event" are tolerable. However it must be recorded that he has two stabs at the Beardsley cracker against Brighton, and both are thoroughly rotten.

If there is a criticism, it’s that the footage is in the main unlabelled, and it’s only the true saddo that realises little gems are actually on show, like the Moncur winner in the infamous 4-3 Forest riot game or a black and white clip of Pop Robson netting against the mackems at Roker. Some imagination and thought has also gone into the selection of footage, and some McFaul saves and defensive work from the likes of Bobby Cowell are included alongside the Varadi strikes etc. A fair amount of England goals also pop up, including U21 strikes from Gazza and Waddle and even a brace for wor Jackie.

Spoiling the ending for those of you too mean or lazy to invest in this little cracker, Kev picks the following lineup: Willie McFaul, Frankie Clark, David Craig, Frank Brennan, Bobby Moncur, Jackie Milburn, Terry McDermott, Ivor Allchurch, Chris Waddle, Malcolm Macdonald, Hughie Gallacher. He also allows himself the luxury of five subs – Ronnie Simpson, Bob Stokoe, Gazza, Peter Beardsley, Bobby Mitchell. His manager ? Joe Harvey. Diplomatically, Keegan avoids picking himself as a player. Of course, he was to subsequently make a further attempt at picking a black and white dream team, on a rather more realistic scale. Shame it didn’t quite work….

13:46 Definitely the original ‘74 commentary, Moore explodes with delight as Supermac gets the second at Hillsborough in the semi.

45:10 The only commercially available footage of the winning goal in the Forest riot game.  

Quote of the tape: explaining why he only has two candidates for the left wing position in his team, Kev reveals "Left sided players are a rarity" – something he now knows only too well after Euro2000….