12mins: A big boot from Shay Given (nice to see he's been practising) found the trusty head of Duncan Ferguson. His flick-on seemed to be just too far for Kevin Gallacher but Peter Atherton stumbled (or was pushed) and his weak header was short of Pavel Srnicek. That left the Magpies striker to prod home his second Newcastle goal and first in the Premiership. 1-0

Half time: Owls 0 Magpies 1

86 mins: Rob Lee's forward ball and found Alan Shearer a few yards clear of the home defence. A perfect chest down and positive touch or two saw him thump a superb left-footed shot across the advancing Srnicek into the far corner for a classic goal. 

The goal was greeted by a wall of noise from Toon fans behind the goal, acknowledged by Shearer who stood grinning, arms aloft in front of the celebrating masses on the Leppings Lane. 2-0  

Full time: Owls 0 Magpies 2

Bobby Robson:

To follow

Danny Wilson:

To follow 

A trip back in time to Hillsborough, as Gallacher's first Premiership goal of the season and a vintage Shearer effort saw us triumph in front of a sizeable away support. Add to this draconian old-style policing and squalid conditions in the away stand, and we were a pair of bondage trousers and a feather cut away from the 1980's.

Barring a resurgence of unimaginable proportions, it looks as if the Owls will slip back into the first division and we'll be spared the risk of cramming ourselves into the Leppings Lane Stand next season, with its dingy facilities and potentially lethal narrow exits from the upper tier. 

A club with a rapidly shrinking support and similarly downsizing bank account looks in terminal decline at present, and a trustworthy defence is obviously a higher priority than the safety of a load of drunken Geordies. This would be concerning enough at another ground, but at this one, at this end, it is deplorable. I don't know about you, but my mind wasn't on bloody Stanley Matthews when a minutes silence was observed at 3pm....

Back to onfield action, and in truth not a performance that will linger long in the memory. The defence looked liable to spring a leak at the merest hint of concerted pressure, and the hitherto reliable Hughes suddenly looked like he was playing out of position, which of course he is. 

On the other flank Warren Barton also struggled, partly due to the poorness of the passes wafted in his general direction, and consequently United struggled for width for most of the afternoon. At the back Given had only routine clearing up to do apart from his instant reaction to a point-blank range Sibon effort, which he afterwards rightly claimed as the finest save of his career. 

Only the poorness of the shot gave him any chance of blocking it, but his crucial touch knocked the ball onto the bar and was then gleefully hoofed clear as the appreciative away end celebrated.

Duncan Ferguson had one of his quieter games, but was instrumental in the vital opener that ultimately broke the resolve of the home side. If anyone deserved a goal for his recent efforts, it was wee Kevin Gallacher, and he continued to be our main attacking threat after breaking his league duck for this millennium. 

Elsewhere things weren't quite so good however; Alan Shearer lacking support at crucial times, and starting to graduate into wider positions as a consequence. The game seemed to pass Gary Speed by for long periods, while Kieron Dyer ran into a succession of blind alleys in his haste to prompt forward movements. A measure of the lack of creativity was that the most effective forward break of the first half was executed by Helder.

No indication of a problem with Ferguson had been evident in the first half, but the first figure to be sighted on the pitch for the second period was the Georgian loon, with big Dunc making way for him due to a bang on the head. His unwitting assailant, Pavel Srnicek, was accorded a grand reception as he took his place in the Leppings Lane goal, which he obviously appreciated, but he was to have little else to comfort him during the afternoon.

A second goal didn't look particularly likely, partly due to the low quality (and number) of our set-pieces and crosses, with Dyer guilty of going it alone when others were well placed to hit home. However, we could have dug leek trenches in the centre circle or lounged on deckchairs, such was the lack of menace from the home side. 

Danny Wilson narrowly defeated Robson in the first half touchline animation stakes, but after the interval slumped down in his seat with the air of a condemned man desperately searching for something new to say in the post-match press conference.

An injury to Helder meant that Howey returned to the fray for the first time since the FA semi final, a move that seemed risky given the fact he'd not looked exactly bursting with energy the previous Wednesday at Aston Villa reserves. 

With Domi also warming up, moving Hughes inside to partner Dabizas and returning the Frenchman to his original left back spot would seem logical, but Bobby obviously realised that Howey could scarcely have had a less taxing return to action than against the lacklustre owls.

Domi did make an appearance, and lifted the game as a spectacle with his enthusiastic running and good control, in stark contrast to the erratic Ketsbaia. Robert Lee, who had been barely observed outside the centre circle suddenly burst into life as if his alarm had been set for 4.30pm, and he was even sighted in the Wednesday penalty area. 

I can't help but think that he would be more use to us if he was brought on for the later stages of away games, to give us twenty minutes of full-on harrying and organising, rather than doing a soft shoe shuffle for the first hour. Maybe the return of Nobby Solano will lead to a series of cameo roles for another former England player.

Eventually a second goal arrived after numerous moves had broken down, as much due to our shortcomings as the strength of the pedestrian Des Walker-led rearguard, and Shearer claimed another quality strike from a Lee pass to send the geordie multitudes back to licensed premises in good heart and voice. 

Home fans by contrast, slipped away to their humble dwellings for a night of sombre contemplation - or if they were in the vicinity of Chapeltown, unwarranted urine extraction by heartless individuals claiming to be football fans.

In mitigation I can reveal that myself, said and "gentlemen" did turn out on the Sunday morning to cheer on the Sheffield Wednesday youth team in a windswept local derby, but they did even worse than the seniors, losing 3-0. 

However, there is still no excuse for a very young Owl to be told that if Newcastle beat Wednesday again, "we get to keep them."