The fast show, starring Julio Geordio

28 mins Alejandro Garnacho attacked down the left watched by Tino Livramento and the Newcastle defender pinched the ball with a perfectly timed tackle. He set off towards the halfway line and evaded half-hearted challenges before passing to Miggy Almiron on the Newcastle left.  

The Paraguayan took a touch and held off Diogo Dalot before guiding the ball left-footed past Andre Onana from the left hand edge of the six yard box into the far corner of the Stretford End goal. 1-0

Miggy's at the wheel - a celebration referencing his recent motoring misadventure

36 mins Almiron scooped a skilful pass to Joe Willock on the left side of the box that bypassed Dalot and the Newcastle midfielder kept possession and cross into the six yard box where Harry Maguire headed the ball straight to Lewis Hall under pressure from Anthony Gordon. 

Hall volleyed the ball left-footed inside the far corner from the edge of the box, knee-sliding towards home fans before wisely turning towards his team mates to celebrate. Also celebrating in the away end was his Tyneside-born dad. 2-0

Half time: Red Devils 0 Magpies 2

60 mins An immaculately-timed intervention by Joelinton robbed Sofyan Amrabat on the edge of the centre circle in the home half, Joe Willock picking the ball up and setting off upfield. 

The defence parted, aided by an intelligent run by Anthony Gordon, as he steadied himself to hit an inch-perfect low shot inside the post and beyond Onana's fruitless dive. Willock's knee-slide was to the corner flag in front of the jubilant away end 3-0

Full time: Red Devils 0 Magpies 3

Eddie Howe said:

"It was a massive performance from the players, I can't credit them enough.

"There were some great stories to come out of the game. Matt Targett is the only negative, that was a huge blow for us, but even more credit to the players for their performance after that moment. Some giant performances from the players.

"What a story for both (central) defenders. Emil (Krafth) 14 months out playing in a position he hasn't played in a lot, I thought he was superb tonight, he used the ball really well, his athleticism was key. 

"Together with Paul (Dummett), I thought they defended really well against top quality players. It certainly wasn't an easy game for us.

"Joe (Willock) was outstanding. He's a goalscoring midfielder with those athletic qualities we need. You could see how many times he ran forward today, he was a real threat, he took his goal brilliantly, which was a big moment in the game. We needed that third goal.

"It means everything to us and hopefully to them (the fans). You could see the reaction at the end. They knew we were in a tough moment, making changes, but that can sometimes elevate our unity. Players like Matt Ritchie elevate that and his performance was of the highest level.

"The message at half-time was to be positive and brave and continue to do the things that brought us success. I have seen many games here where the crowd win them the game.

On team selection:

"We debated it for a couple of days but we kept reverting back to the same end point which means it was pretty clear what we needed to do, we needed to try and rest players. 

"But also we needed to not have our players not do anything for a week either - almost shutting a player down for a week isn’t a good idea and we’ve then got to elevate their physical level again on Saturday so it was a mix.

"We wanted to give some players some minutes but shortened minutes. Some of the subs were pre-set before the game. Anthony Gordon, Joe Willock - we needed to get them off the pitch. It’s going to be a key thing for us managing minutes and keep the squad as strong as possible."

On Sean Longstaff's captaincy:

"He deserved it. Sean has acted unbelievably since I have been at the club. He has led, and is starting to lead, it is almost a recognition of that. He is a leader for the here and now and for the future."

On Lewis Hall and Tino Livramento:

"I thought they both played really, really well. They both showed their qualities.

"Lewis was composed on the ball under pressure and played some lovely passes in the first half, capped off with his goal that was an unbelievable strike.

"Tino’s standout was the assist for the (first) goal but his all-round performance again was of the highest level. They’re two outstanding prospects for us.

"They were signed to push the group and help our squad. To help our team you need good players and they are both very good players.

"The form of Kieran (Trippier) and Dan (Burn) has been really strong as well so it’s that competition that will bring out the best in everybody but they’re very important players for the here and now.”

On Matt Targett:

"I have now idea why or how it happened. It's bizarre. It's early in the game and he's not fatigued in that moment. He's stretched his leg up to tackle and instantly the minute he hit the ground, he was waving to us and knew he was in trouble.

"It looks like a hamstring which would be a huge blow. The only hope for me is he wasn't really running at the time. Sometimes the worst ones are when you're in an explosive action but he was in pain and he's struggling to walk now, so it doesn't look good."

 
The deeply dislikeable Erik ten Hag wobbled his head and said:

"We know this is not good enough. We have to take responsibility for it, I have to take responsibility for it. We don't give the performance, so I feel sorry for the fans. It is below our standards and we have to put it right.

"We have to recover from it but we have to quickly recover - Saturday is the next game and we have to raise our standards. This is not good enough.

"Players will stand up, they are sticking together - you have seen, they have tried. But we know this is not good enough, and as I said, I'm responsible for this, and we have to do this together."

"You have to be disciplined and you have to do it with togetherness, everyone has to take responsibility, be accountable and co-operate. That's the key word.

"So I am a fighter and I know it is not always going to go up and we have a lot of setbacks this season, but also you have to deal with it and that is never an excuse.

"I have said that before. I know when there are setbacks but even then you have to get results. Sunday and tonight was far from that so we have to do things right at a certain level, the minimum level to win games.

"I understand it (criticism) when the results are not there it is also a logical process that they are questioning that. But I am confident I can do it. At all my clubs I have done it and also last year here I did it as well, but at this moment we are in a bad place. I take responsibility for it.

"I see it as a challenge. I am a fighter and I am in that fight and I have to make sure that I share the responsibility with my players and that we stick together and fight together, and get better results.

"It is below the standards everyone expects from Manchester United. It is not good enough by far. We have to put it right. It is my team and they are not performing."

Conversations you'd never thought you'd have; sitting in a traffic jam on the M62 in the early hours debating whether the previous night's scoreline, the 8-0 win at Sheffield United or the 4-1 home rout of PSG was the standout result from the last six weeks of watching Newcastle United. 

Weeks! Entire seasons once passed with nothing more memorable than an occasional outbreak of competency. Now, we post momentous outcomes with a regularity that will never be monotonous.    

If those eye-catching Premier League and Champions League successes were proof of progress, this 8.15 from Manchester comes into the vengeance category - made all the more unlikely by a line-up with eight changes that was seemingly heavy on full backs and light up front. How wrong we were.

Exactly how that selection were lining up was still being assessed when Matt Targett went to ground within 90 seconds of the start and couldn't continue. The arrival of Miggy Almiron proved to be a blessing in disguise, giving the visiting attack further impetus to unpick the hosts. 

We'd underestimated how good we'd be - and how abominable they were; those in red lacking any coherent plan aside from clattering into opponents in a misplaced attempt to convey commitment. We know only too well that these were the title holders, but they quit on their stool tonight.

There were fine displays all over the pitch from those clad in black and white; Emil Krafth returning from injury after 14 months to partner the rarely-seen Paul Dummett in central defence and eagerly-awaited appearances for summer arrivals Tino Livramento and Lewis Hall.

As he had against Manchester City in the previous round, Livramento caught the eye again on the right; his forward run integral to the opening goal. Hall meanwhile capped a massively improved display from that City tie with the first senior goal of his career for 2-0 - having dropped back into left back almost immediately to replace the stricken Targett. Hopefully Gareth Southgate wasn't watching. 

Back in harness after being restricted to fleeting bench outings meanwhile was Matt Ritchie, who did nothing wrong but prompted a rerun of an earlier discussion about whether he justified a squad place. Others may have staked their claim for contract extensions, but he's surely now on his last lap.

Making an unsentimental return was Martin Dubravka after his loan spell last season which meant he was cup tied for the Carabao Cup Final when Nick Pope was suspended. This was one of his quietest nights for either United, but his kicking was noticeably more accurate than Nick Pope.

Sean Longstaff, Joelinton and Anthony Gordon remained in the side to bring solidity; Lobby made captain on the occasion of his 150th game for the club. Gordon didn't score, but his intelligent dummy runs crucially distracted defenders and opened up the space for the first and third goals. 

That leaves Joe Willock, whose shot to make it 3-0 was the pick of the trio of superb strikes simply because it was at our end. As Kevin Keegan once said, the crowd sucked it in. The expression 'hit the ground running' doesn't do justice to his contribution since returning: never mind a familiar 'keeper, had Willock been in the side that ran out at Wembley things may have been rather different. 

As for silencing the home crowd, there was nothing to shush really - they were mostly mute as their side suffered a fifth loss here from nine league and cup home games this season.

Reaching the interval two up prompted scenes of incredulity from some, one acquaintance hooking up to the working 5G signal to book a Wembley hotel. Other fellow travellers were slightly less giddy, perhaps mindful of our 2018 visit here when a 2-0 interval advantage mutated into a 2-3 defeat. 

Willock's third turned this into a real Trafford lark and allowed Howe to switch him and Gordon for Callum Wilson and Bruno Guimaraes. Dan Burn and Kieran Trippier were also given late run-outs as the visitors successfully closed down the game and home followers streamed away. Howe deliberately spoke of the subs getting minutes in their legs as if this was a fitness session, not a contest. 

Aside from a little chunk of history, our reward is a pre-Christmas quarter-final trip to Chelsea in between the Fulham home game and the visit to Luton Town. Not great when Port Vale and Boro were also in the draw, but marginally better than the visit to Anfield that had frankly seemed inevitable. 

Losing our first quartet of League Cup meetings with the Blues, we then memorably won the fifth and most recent 4-3 at Stamford Bridge in 2010. If we're to reach the last four for only the third time, we'll have to do that again -and win a quarter-final away from SJP for the first time ever.

That's all to come though after a further ten (!) games, by which time we may have John Anderson, Little Billy Fane and the team coach driver on the bench at the current rate of player attrition.... 

It's fine to talk of revenge for the Carabao Cup Final loss, but our own score settling extends way beyond that, routinely pushed aside here to a backdrop of anti-Shearer songs, grateful not to lose. 

This was a night of pure elation, a world away from the nervy 1-0 league win here in 2013 that proved to be a staging post to precisely nowhere. There goes the fear.

Biffa