78 mins: The harshest of decisions given against Noel Whelan came after Nicos Dabizas had lost the ball in the box. Virtually every Newcastle player plus 30,000+ Geordies appealed for it, but only the most optimistic expected it to be given. Alan Shearer obliged from the penalty spot. 1-0

84 mins: A fine break out of defence gained impetus when Shearer instantantly controlled the ball and passed to the unmarked Temuri Ketsbaia . For once, the Georgian kept his cool and played in Diego Gavilan who did well to finish into the far corner despite falling over as he scooped the ball past Magnus Hedman 2-0

Full time: Newcastle 2 Coventry 0

Sir Bobby said:
 
To follow

Gordon Strachan said:

To follow
 

As happens in all the best stories, it all came right in the end. 

Come home time, the king again wore his shiny crown and took the salute of the peasants, while the young prince from faraway lands smiled sheepishly at the assembled throng. Meanwhile, the (ginger) villain crept away to practice his pained expression before blatantly attempting to mislead the nation via "Match of the Day."

History will show that uncle Alan broke his season-best record for the toon by notching number 29 via a questionable penalty, and also that the first Paraguayan Premiership goal was scored, thanks to a rare piece of clear headedness from our Georgian. What will rapidly ebb away into the ether is the sheer drabness and predictability of much of this game, City indulging in their traditional away match seizure and the home side coasting down to the finish line with the engine turned off. 

Had Shearer beaten his own record a mite quicker via either of the two early half-chances, things could have been livelier, but as it was, the relative quiet of the afternoon was broken only by sporadic approval of the quality performance Lee was compiling, and the forced removal of a couple of away fans, seemingly hysterical at their heroes having forced a corner on foreign soil.

Eventually the fickle finger of Peter Jones and his complicitous linesman gave us a gold-plated opportunity to claim the victory, and yer man duly accepted it. Opinion is divided whether the East Stand linesman actually signalled the spot kick, but in all probability he did, having waved his flag at frequent intervals all afternoon. 

He may have imagined offside decisions at every juncture, but from my newly-roofed (and soon to be former) perch, he may as well have been trying to coax down the pigeons flying around the ground all afternoon.....

Proof, if any were needed, of the danger to football that corporate supporters pose came in the privileged pissheads poll for Man of the Match, which Warren Barton somehow topped. 
 
Not since the days of Ruel Fox (whose name once appeared to be pre-printed on voting papers) has such an award been so unwarranted, not because he had a bad game, but just because he had nowt to do.....

Perhaps a fairer award would have been a joint one shared amongst all the crowd who shouted "penalty". The populist vote appeared to sway the referee so obviously that any half-decent fantasy league compiler would credit an assist to "T.Army."   

The undoubted star of the show on the pitch was resurgent Robert Lee. However, while he gave his most complete performance for many months, those who subsequently indulged in loose talk about Euros would do well to see the old master in action against an opposition midfield not composed of folically challenged dullards and foreign fancy dans who didn't "like it up them", as a certain butcher from Walmington-on-Sea would doubtless claim.

Speaking of that eagerly awaited Summer melee in the low countries, one man obviously in no hurry to skip through the tulips or sample his chips with mayonnaise is Kieron Dyer. 

As the weeks go by he seems to be playing himself of Keegan's squad, and to be frank would probably benefit more from a rest before next season rather than dueling with the hun. As it is, his likely destination on current form is the U21 Euro tournament in deepest Bratislava.

Three games to go then and once we've washed the radioactive ooze from our boots on Tuesday and tussled a still-not-safe Derby Count side, it all ends here against Arsenal. Dare we suggest a team only days away from a UEFA Cup final appearance won't be staffed or playing at full tilt ? 

Considering our recent history a home win would seem likely, but in this decidedly odd season quite literally anything could happen. One thing is certain though, a certain snowy-haired native of County Durham will be richly applauded from all quarters for his achievement.

Viva El Bobby!

Biffa