Our own twisted take is viewable via NUFC.com but we asked our readers the same question. Here's a few suggestions that we particularly liked:

Get some scouts like Man United's. They go to Norway and find Solskjaer, ours go to Iceland (maybe he was a shelf-stacker) and find Bjarni Gudjonsson.

Get rid of Mick Wadsworth. Not only does he recommend rotten footballers, but he looks really embarrassing on the touchline in that ill-fitting tracksuit and bright white trainers.

Ensure that all local talent is snapped up so we don't have to pay £15m to bring it back again.

And our favourite: The pies need sorting out. You can't reach the pitch with a decent hoy from where I sit, a more aerodynamic design would help.

Biffa