To the untrained eye, or anyone who had the good fortune not to see this game, an away goal and a draw on foreign soil wasn't too poor a return for a first leg tie.

However, those bare facts conceal the desperately depressing nature of United's performance in Oslo, against a team most kindly described as limited in both talent and endeavour.

Quite simply we were dull. With only Ambrose and Bellamy from the starting eleven showing any enthusiasm for the task in hand, we whiled away the afternoon in a similar fashion to our equally unimaginative hosts.

The difference was though that while unfashionable Vålerenga were eager but rusty from their winter break, we were a side with Champions League pretensions and players with reputations as overblown as their own egos and bank balances.

Judging by his body language and woolly pre-match interview, not to mention team selection, Sir Bobby seemed to have little regard for the Norwegian side and his indolent players looked to have picked up on that vibe.

Inevitably the papers had a field day with the demotion of Alan Shearer to the bench, complete with photos of him looking suitably downcast and almost Keeganesque with his coat pulled up to his chin.

Yet the fact remains that the players on the field let the manager down and the the shortcomings of those selected allowed the man who didn't play to remain in the spotlight.

While Ambrose played with the air of someone looking to make a positive impression and claim a regular start, regrettably the same couldn't be said of messrs Viana, Jenas and Ameobi.

The same question has to be asked of all three: just exactly what is it that they're waiting for? Or are they as muddled as the manager about this competition - you get a trophy for this you know - this is a good thing, so fans of other teams reckon anyway....

For Ameobi, a failure to claim preferred partner status with the number nine last year saw him see off LuaLua, Chopra and Cort only to have Bellamy and Bridges looking to usurp him.

So, a game against average opposition comes along, with the chance to make a mark on the telly alongside the busy Bellamy and Jack Hixon's Geordie duo forced to watch from the sidelines.

And what does he do? Lumber around like Alistair McGowan attempting a poor Emile Heskey impression. Nonchalant to the point of self-parody, this was just bloody rubbish to be frank.

Moving on with the rubbishing of our bright young things then and to Jenas, restored to the team after being dropped for a run of mundane, forgettable performances.

So what do we get from him, a redoubling of effort to force Robson to restore him to the regular starting side and post a reminder to Sven that his claim for achieving more in Portugal this summer than carry Kieron's bags remained alive? 

In a word, no.

If Jenas was an Iggy Pop record, it certainly wouldn't be Lust for Life, but The Passenger would fit him fine. Playing like an old man both in mind and body seemingly, spending the close season in therapy, not Lisbon would seem a more applicable destination at present.

And speaking of Lisbon, if Viana cannot be enthused by a UEFA Cup appearance then he'll be singing his national anthem come June from a seat in the stand and there's simply no point in continuing with him as a Newcastle player, such is his lack of motivation when wearing our shirt.

Aside from the pass for Bellamy's goal he gave the appearance of a player with zero interest in proceedings - perhaps he was in a strop because he'd been nominally selected to play on the wing. Poor bairn. Sorry, rich bairn.

Enough of individual shortcomings, collectively the team managed to pee off their sizeable support in the Ulleval Stadium with this non-event of a display, followed by a failure to acknowledge those clad in black and white on three sides of the ground.

Excluding Given, Hughes, Jenas and O'Brien, nobody else bothered to applaud or even give the away sections a backward glance as they departed the pitch with more relish than they'd shown while the match was in progress - obviously the lure of clubbing / watching DVDs / picking up teenage lasses was more of a motivation than giving a competent or professional account of themselves.

If ever actions spoke louder than words, then this was the occasion. The failure to make a simple ten second gesture merely underlines the contempt that some Newcastle players appear to hold fans and their manager in.

The club warble on about establishing a global supporter base and plan games in exotic locations, yet here we had a great opportunity to entertain those Scandinavian toon sympathisers who had turned out to see their heroes first-hand, outnumbering the UK-based supporters in the process.

We of course failed utterly to do that, leaving those Norwegians, Swedes, Danes and Finns proudly wearing their United shirts, hats and scarves to queue for the homeward-bound tube having seen an excuse of a performance, no sight of their hero Shearer and not so much as a kind look from most of the players.

Make no mistake, this was a big occasion for people in this part of the world - a fact we singularly failed to appreciate as a club. Gazza famously gave a boorish comment when asked to address the people of Norway and his favourite club here gave a metaphorical two fingered salute of their own.

Being selfish for a moment, interesting though it is to see these overseas toon converts (although utterly puzzling why they've thrown their lot in with us), forgive us if we speak on behalf of those who travelled from Britain for a moment.

Having endured weeks of uncertainty about when and where this game would take place, with risk of substantial financial loss for many, then seen the club again not bother their arse to run transport for the same reason, surely we had the right to expect payback of a sort?

That would preferably have come in the shape of a good performance and a victory, or at least in some empty gesture at the end of the game - basically we demand to at least  be patronised and have empty platitudes tossed off to justify the bother that we've had in travelling to witness this tripe first-hand.

Actually that's rubbish, I just want the team to demonstrate to me that this club and this competition is as important to them as me, rather than giving the impression they might as well be playing for the Black Bull, or in the Asia Cup.

Having worried about the weather, there was a certain delicious irony in the fact that neither the snow or temperature were an issue - at least not in Norway.

And finding out over breakfast in Oslo on Friday that the team plane had been diverted to Manchester due to wintry weather at the toon provoked some ironic chuckles, although giving the buggers parachutes and opening the cabin door as the flight passed over Leazes Park would surely have been a suitable end to the evening for some of them.

At the risk of repeating ourselves, we're not big enough, clever enough or successful enough to rotate our team against supposedly inferior opposition. We came a cropper against West Brom in the League Cup and nearly did so again in this game.

It's really is incomprehensible that this is the same team that won in Rotterdam and Leverkusen and gave Inter a fright in their backyard a year ago.

Again we've indulged in some more self-inflicted wounding, giving our detractors more vitriol to dip their pens in. And with Pompey and a custard pie in the shape of LuaLua lying in wait, one can almost predict the next instalment of the Gallowgatenders soap opera in Monday's papers.

The question has to be asked, aside from that bag of money that comes our way with the group stage place, is there any point in finishing fourth, or in a UEFA Cup spot if we're as lack-lustre and listless as this when the games come round?

To be honest though, that might not be a relevant question if history repeats itself. When Shearer does return to the side, it remains to be seen what effect the last day or two will have had on him - although people would like to pretend it didn't happen, his reputation was tarnished when he fell out with a certain Dutchman and served up a succession of tepid performances for Newcastle.

Which Shearer will we see? If he chucks in the towel and all we get is the perennially furrowed brow again, then judging by the lack of form being shown by the rest of the squad we may as well put the passports back in the drawer.