Full time: Newcastle 1 Fulham 4

Graeme Souness said:

"I'm like all the supporters: going home feeling extremely frustrated and somewhat bewildered. We haven't played badly. We had 60pc of the play, we had 19 corners to zero, 26 shots at goal, of which 20 were on target and that doesn't include the ones that were blocked.

"We have peppered their goal throughout yet are going home having lost 4-1. It was a frustrating game of football for all who are connected with Newcastle United.

"I've never been involved in a game like that. I've been involved in games where you batter teams and you lose 1-0. But to lose 4-1 is a new one to me.

"We did so much right. We were good going forward and we created a lot of gilt-edged chances. I think Mark Crossley has played perhaps the finest game of football of his life.

"We have come away from a game having not played badly but having lost 4-1. 

"We were fantastic going forward, we created fantastic chances. But we came up against a much-inspired goalkeeper. In 35 years in professional football I haven't seen anything like it.

"On another day we would have scored six or seven. People will hear that and say it’s an exaggeration, but just look at the statistics. It's gone now, it's finished. 

"Let's play our football and put away the chances we create in the next game."

About the challenge on Shearer that preceded John's goal:

"I have not seen the replay yet, but Alan told me he was fouled."

About the penalty not given for a challenge on Shearer:

"The referee has to ask why Alan would fall over when he has a shooting chance inside the box."

Steve Harper commented:

"To be perfectly truthful I just feel shell-shocked. I have waited nearly four years for the chance to play in the Premiership again and I would have rather waited as long again for that rather than what happened against Fulham not to have happened.

"To go down 4-1 in front of your own fans is nothing short of devastating. It's the first time it has ever happened to me and obviously I hope it's the last.

"Fulham taught us a lesson in classic counter-attacking football and we know that other teams will now come here and try to repeat that. And I have to say that I thought Mark Crossley gave the best performance I have seen from a visiting keeper for a long, long time.

"We cannot keep giving goals away if we want to climb the table and get back into the Champions League. We sacrificed a couple of goals at the end and you cannot criticise the manager for trying to go for it and trying to salvage something from the match.

"Shay sent me a good luck text and I didn't find out I was playing until 11 o'clock in the morning. I was hoping it was going to be a great day for us and hopefully it was still a great day for Shay and his wife Jane.

"But it was a bad day for the club. The statistics will show that we had 20 shots on target but the papers will show that we lost 4-1 and that's the main thing."

A delighted Chris Coleman said:

"Newcastle had way more possession, more shots on goals but we took our chances and that was the difference. Today was always going to be difficult and it's an achievement in itself to go away and score four goals.

"To be honest the ball bounced for us today and decisions went our way. At 1-0, we were hanging on in there and we managed to hit them on the counter-attack, which was our plan, so I was delighted.

"Our goalkeeper was fantastic. If people get in and do well, they stay in. Edwin knows that, he's obviously frustrated because he wants to play but Mark's still in, he played very well and he's keeping himself in.

"We played as a team today, showed a bit of mettle and I was delighted with the performance."

"I can understand it. Graeme was getting frustrated at the time. There might have been a foul on Alan Shearer which wasn't given and we went up the pitch and scored. And then Alan went down in the box and they might have got a penalty.

"Alan isn't the kind of player to try to con a referee and it was all a bit much for Graeme and he lost his temper. I have been there myself and I could understand what he was going through, but that's what happens sometimes."

There is, of course, nowt new under the sun where we are concerned and from the "seen it all before" files we present not only a 4-1 home loss to Fulham in Oct 1982 but also the events of January 1975.

The final score at SJP that day was Newcastle 2 Spurs 5, with striker Alfie Conn helped himself to four goals for the visitors. However, the Londoners were battered from start to finish and Newcastle could have scored a hatful that day, wasting countless opportunities.

(On that day, Graeme Souness was a Middlesbrough player and his side were enduring that sinking feeling at Portman Road, Bobby Robson's Ipswich Town beating them 2-0.)   

Goalkeeper Steve Harper's 30th Premiership start for the club (plus 2 sub outings) and his first since a 3-1 home win over Coventry on 13th January 2001 - the only survivors from that team playing today were Hughes and sub Ameobi.

Harper's last clean sheet at SJP came against Juventus in Oct 2002 - since then he's conceded 11 goals in 5 appearances (not including penalty shootouts.)

His appearance in place of Shay Given (whose wife went into labour and gave birth at 9pm on Sunday night) meant that the Irishman lost his 140 game ever-present run in the Premiership.

Our heaviest home defeat since the 2-6 reverse at the hands of Manchester United in April 2003 - and our next Premiership opponents? Manchester United....oh goody.

Fulham had arrived on Tyneside without an away victory in the Premiership since the last game of last season, when they beat Bolton 2-0 at the Reebok.

Two defeats in nine home games this season, both against London clubs (Spurs being the other)

And which two teams have conceded most goals in the Premiership this season? Why of course it's ourselves and Blackburn....

Well, it's never dull here is it?

On the day that Graeme Souness was inducted into the Scottish FA Hall of Fame, he made his own bid to feature in our Black Museum after a horror show that saw him banished to the stands, while his side ended up in disarray with only two recognised defenders on the field.

And as these things often do, they sneaked up on us from a slow start.

A hushed St.James' Park settled in to watch this one in the full expectation of victory and after an early flurry, we settled down to dominate the game while creating a steady stream of chances without scoring. 

To all intents and purposes then, your average home game against average opposition - at some stage we'd probably sneak a goal or two and claim the three points in an uneventful contest, with a little wobble in the last five minutes when the visitors got one back.

Only that didn't happen, with even the setback of being behind at the interval failing to shake the relaxed mood off the field - while nobody seemed too perturbed over the dismissal of Souness, for protesting about a penalty claim being denied, on top of the missing whistle for the foul before the opening goal. 

Precisely what Bellamy thought of all this isn't recorded, but after the goings on at Charlton he could have been forgiven for making his way to the touchline for a quick "ha ha" at his retreating manager, in the style of the school bully in the Simpsons.  

In our smugness, we'll admit to thoughts that giving them a goal start would make for a more exciting and atmospheric afternoon, as we fought back and got a bit of crowd backing that led to a winner. It doesn't work like that often though and the Man City game had perhaps seen us use up our quota of rubs on the magic lamp for the moment.

The atmosphere, which had been virtually non-existent but started to ramp up in the second half disappeared with the second goal - obviously my recollections of cheering the lads back from the dead are another case of false memory syndrome. 

Exactly when did we become a (Geordie) nation of ignorant moaners? Would the 2004 crowd have walked out at Anfield on that Friday night in 1984 when Liverpool humped us 4-0, but each home goal only made the travelling masses sing louder? 

Those who seem to enjoy walking out had the chance to do did their thing yet again, in a mass show of annoyance about something - but protesting against what? The sale of Woodgate? The fall of communism? No minute's silence for John Peel? Maybe they just wanted to slip off to the boozer and gawp at the Manchester Derby, which seemed to interest some people more than our game. Toon toon, black and white goldfish. 

It's now so much part of the make up of our crowd though that it came as no surprise to see the mass desertion - and there's now a new game that you can play, looking out for the loud-mouthed arseholes and predicting when they'll storm out - it's often the same people who are also incapable of watching the start and end of each half.  

I'm sure Freddy couldn't really give a fig though, what with most of those dissenters having paid up front for their pleasure back in May - anyway, the more who leave early, the less there is to boo them off at the end - and don't forget that panto villain Dyer is almost ready to return, so some hissing practice may be in order.

The stoic majority though sat silently through to the bitter end, with Bellamy's goal going virtually uncelebrated - coming as it did with no possibility of even the most unlikely of fightbacks. 

It was almost an unfortunate one to score, ruining a clean sheet for Crossley, who exhibited superhuman powers, in stark contrast to some of his previous appearances against us - conceding three here in 1995 for Forest and the same number for Boro in 2001. Maybe it's him apparently ditching that Guinness diet he's been on for the last decade and half that has sharpened him up.....

We didn't learn anything new today. The defence is in desperate need of the Woodgate wedge being reinvested and we're capable of creating scoring chances against anyone given the attackers we have - although taking those chances is a different matter. And in the 18 years since the incident with George McCluskey on his Rangers debut, Souness is still unable to control himself  - or is he merely scape-goated by officials while nice (foul-mouthed) white-haired old men in their seventies are indulged?

The caution-thrown-to-the-winds tactics were a new development though - in the past we've castigated Dalglish and others for not having a go in times when bravery was required. To see someone doing the opposite was brave, but ultimately mad. 

Robert simmering on the bench, Milner nowhere to be seen (although we had two central defenders on the bench in a home game), a formation that accommodated the three strikers, but required Bellamy and Jenas - the two best performers of the season - to play out of position. 

But still we created enough goalscoring opportunities to have scored a bucketful and had more corners than Silverstone. Had we put away half of our chances, fickle feckers like us would have doubtless been toasting a tactical triumph. Barmy? typical. 

We started out like Alf Ramsey's wingless wonders - by the end it was more Alf Roberts. Hughes and Bernard were sacrificed to leave us vulnerable down the flanks, Jenas stuck at right back despite both Bowyer and Butt being unimpressive in the middle and seemingly loathe to track back or chase.

And into an overloaded front area, with a static Shearer and a deep-lying and frankly fey Kluivert staying away from the big lads in defence, were injected Robert and Ameobi. Had Chopra not been at Barnsley he'd probably have been on as well, while Dean Saunders looked to be warming up at one point. We've been unable to find the last instance of our use of a 2-3-5 formation.       

Chelsea and Manchester United are next up here in the next few days - short of rebuilding Hadrian's wall, there's not much we can do with the defence except hope that they stick together and on the field for the full duration. 

Some help from the midfield might be nice, while some more decisive contributions from Kluivert are overdue - hopefully the blood will course through his veins a wee bit faster when the likes of Van Nistelrooy (with whom he shares the same 1976 birthdate) are on the pitch. He's provided some beautiful touches in recent games, but no goals in five games, despite the likes of Norwich and Tbilisi being among the opponents, tells it's own story. That's not to say he's not scored elsewhere on Tyneside, allegedly.

Of Shearer, he's beginning to test the loyalty of Souness as his goalscoring chances continue to reduce and fans are beginning to openly question whether he's worth a place in the starting lineup - certainly at this point, talk of another season seems rather hollow. Somewhere, Bobby Robson was no doubt sniggering....     

A bad day at the office is a great excuse, but only if used sparingly. Players always waffle on about getting bad results out of their systems and wanting games to come quickly to get it out of their systems (that didn't work for Mutu though.) Now's your chance lads.

Souness said during the unbeaten run that marked his honeymoon period that he'd only find out about his squad when things went wrong. Well, they could hardly have gone worse in this one by the end, with a singular lack of spirit and organisation. They're finding out about him, he's getting the measure of them and we're starting to see what we've ended up with.  

This coming Wednesday and Saturday are all about attitude and pride, an old-fashioned work ethic and desire to win, or at least not lose. And that includes our fickle fans. Writing about two more defeats won't be pleasurable but it wouldn't be unexpected, given our fecklessness in this game.   

Biffa

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