Full time: Newcastle 0 Villa 3

After it had been "suggested" of them, the two pugilists faced the press after the game.

Lee Bowyer said:

"We would like to apologise to the fans, the chairman, the management staff, all the players, to everyone connected with Newcastle, my family and everybody who witnessed what happened today.

"We are sincerely sorry."

Kieron Dyer then added:

"We are team mates, we have disagreements but we should not be fighting in front of 50,000 people. We are deeply sorry.

Graeme Souness then said:

"It's a first for me. I've never witnessed that before. I have been told by Dyer that he did not throw any punches, he was on the receiving end.

"Bowyer was indefensible. He was guilty of throwing more than one punch and has to accept any punishment coming his way. I can envisage both of them playing again, but if it ever happened again that would be it for the pair of them, they've hurt the customers today.

"Anyone who sees those pictures will find it hard to understand how team mates act like that."

"I'm not condoning what they did in any way but the referee had a very disappointing game today and the frustration our players felt going down 3-0 has shown itself with someone wanting to go boxing."

"It's been a very traumatic day for everyone."

A seething Alan Shearer said in the Sun on Monday:

"Once again the good name of Newcastle United is being dragged through the dirt. 

"What happened was a disgrace, there is no defence for it and I made my feelings known in the dressing room.

"I'm very angry still and very frustrated by it all, especially when things had been going so well and the spirit within the camp has been so good over the last few months."

"Our dirty linen has been hung out for the country to witness yet again.

"It was my idea as soon as I got back into the dressing room to get the two players themselves to answer to the media." 

"I said 'You two had better get out there because neither me nor the gaffer are going to do your talking'. To be fair to them, they agreed because they knew they had to do it."

Aston Villa boss David O'Leary said:

He's probably avoiding the newspapers, but had Graeme Souness seen the story about the Tyneside holidaymakers stranded in Dubai, he'd probably have been jealous of their plight.

Having found inspiration amid apparent indifference among parts of his squad and supporters in the desert state earlier this year, the manager had returned to lead his side to eight straight victories.

Along the way we'd picked up momentum and positive headlines, as well as a place in the last four of the FA Cup and a UEFA quarter final spot.  

And the feelgood factor seemed to have extended to a second break out in the Emirates.

After that, Alan Shearer felt so upbeat about the future that he announced his intention to play on, amid soundbites from him in praise of the "fantastic spirit in the camp."

So come Friday, the usual pre-match press conference had became something of a jamboree - with the high priest of the PLC himself presiding over proceedings.  

In amongst all this, there was still a game to be played though, against a side that had inflicted the early season defeat that triggered the panic button and saw Bobby pushed overboard. 

Aston Villa were very much cast as the supporting attraction to Al's bash - turn up, garner polite applause for their Peruvian and abuse for their ex-mackems, lose and go home.

The reality of course was that O'Bleary turned up with his side and deservedly claimed three points against a listless and careless United side who were left reeling on the ropes by the end, as were 50,000 punch-drunk punters.

Their victory - and the shortcomings of our lot that contributed to our demise and raised massive question marks against the rest of our season - were soon forgotten though, as once again we paraded our inadequacies in public for the planet's amusement and derision.

But while Norman Mailer is probably penning a blow by blow account of the bout and a screenplay of is doubtless in preparation (may we suggest "When we were Pricks") we find ourselves with not much else to add to the "debate", except our continuing disgust at what went on in front of us. 

The only thing that ordinary, normal toon fans (ie those not dragging their knuckles around the ground waiting to be interviewed on Sky) seem to differ on is whether we have some bad apples in the black and white barrel - or the whole thing is rotten to the core.

Given what he was confronted with today, instead of waiting pitchside until the final whistle and then enduring the insincerities of the press conference, Souness could have forgiven if he'd emulated Kevin Keegan and zoomed off with Terry Mac, muttering about it not being like it was in the brochure.

Putting aside the red cards, the manager has also to reckon with:

Two men about toon (Kluivert and Babayaro), neither of whom could shake themselves sufficiently to play in this game as they continue their recovery from injuries that have defied medical science.

One alleged international (Butt) who moaned about his number of starts, saw Faye dropped and then proceeded to give a performance so woeful that he ought to have worn a sandwich board emblazoned with the words "I just don't want to be here". 

If Bowyer's actions were unprofessional, then Butt's inaction was no different - and both contributed directly to getting a team mate sent off,

Another so-called jewel in Sven's crown (Jenas), too clever to play in his allotted position, contributing nothing to the cause except confusion and demonstrating a need to spend his afternoons learning how to shoot properly - not forgetting to improve on his passing, tackling and heading. Turn off your MP3 player and go and beg Beardsley to show you the way. Please.

And although it's easy to, let's not forget a non-performance from a player (Robert) who was meant to be after a new contract, but dropped back into his old ways with alarming ease. Inspirational, mon derriere.

A pair of central defenders who both dropped ricks, but in the case of O'Brien seemed traumatised by what went on and had to be withdrawn to prevent further (harsh) punishment from the crowd, who were understandably frustrated but gave him both barrels, which just doesn't help anyone.

That said though, OB was wretched, even if he is a nice bloke - football isn't a nice game.

Of course that our two best performers on the day ended up knocking lumps out of each rather than the opposition is frustrating, but entirely in keeping with our self-destructive tendencies.      

We're all allowed an off day - and nothing went right in this one apart from the turnstile operator turning up. 

But instead of being allowed to put it down to experience and shrug it off, the ramifications of what went on today threaten to overshadow and undermine all the good work we've done this year.  

We've somehow managed to find yet another new way to f*ck things up again and turn something looking vaguely positive and promising into another disaster area.

How the guilty players, the innocent players and the fans react to all this is anyone's guess, but there's doing things the hard way, the very hard way and the Newcastle United way. And the paying public are entitled to ask why and not be treated like morons all the time.  

Returning to the non-footballing situation, we retain a vain hope that this is all just a desperate attempt at closing ranks and trying not to run aground before the end of the season - at which point these jerks will be jettisoned, along with the Taffy charver and the other freeloaders who alternate between ridiculing and humiliating us with their actions. 

And if that doesn't happen, then the credibility of Souness will be as tattered as the shirt Lee Bowyer was wearing as he left the field, hopefully never to be seen again. 

Biffa

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