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Out You Go! part 2

A selection of reader tales about 
being chucked out of toon matches....

Occasion: Notts County (h) 1993
Location:  St.James' Park
Guilty Party:  CG

"Me and 'our lad' were jettisoned from the Leazes at quarter to one prior to the game when Andy Cole made his home debut for the toon. We were lobbed out so early we even went to The Strawberry for a few more pints before attempting to re-enter the ground via the very same turnstile we had entered the Leazes. This was because the very same bobby who threw us out originally spotted us told us we were taking the urine somewhat. We the tried to get in the Gallowgate but with it being the promotion season, the gates were locked just before we got to the front.

"Oh, the reason for being hoyed oot in the first instance .... our lad lobbed a perfectly weighted meat and onion pie onto some fella from the Nottingham contingent of the crowd from 40 yards....."   


Occasion:  Spurs (a) 1970
Location:  White Hart Lane
Guilty Party:  JT

"Along with the rest of the hordes, I was singing and shouting abuse at the Spurs lot. When the teams ran out we gave the V's to the Spurs team in a gesture of friendship. This was however misinterpreted by a burly police sergeant, who proceeded to take me to a spot under the stand and beat the proverbial out of me.

"He explained in dulcet cockney tones that he hated geordies, he had to eject 20 spurs fans last year because of us and he was going to make sure he did 20 geordies this year. I was escorted (in a great deal of pain) to a waiting meat wagon, where I was questioned by a couple more of the nice boys. They asked me how I got to London. when I said 'd travelled with the supporters club they relaxed their attitude slightly.

"One of them asked me if I had enough money to get back in. When I said yes, he promptly escorted me to the Spurs end and shoved me through a turnstile. Luckily i was wearing a fashion item of the time, a reversible jerkin, I duly reversed it, stuffed my scarf inside and walked round the ground back to the away end.

"That wasn't the end of my it though - on the way home we stopped at a motorway services, as my mate Gary and i were in the middle of a game of brag with 2 other lads. We got off for a slash, went to buy a sandwich,  and when we came out the coach was gone!!!

"Luckily about 20 minutes later another supporters club coach stopped and we got a lift back - standing up all the way to the toon, but I lost my jerkin and much more important my CIU wallet and Supporters club membership, not to mention the brag kitty from the table on the bus....."   


Occasion: Sheffield United (a) 1994
Location:  Bramall Lane
Guilty Party:

"We started drinking early in a pub called the Big tree and we were well on our way when the team bus came past so we saluted our heroes which didn't go down to well with the locals - for some reason the Blades hate our guts but the Wednesday boys are fine. 

"After dodging a few punches and kicks we made our way to the ground when more aggro started. We went 1-0 down which passed off fairly peacefully but when the second goal went in off the underside of the bar  it caused a surge in the toon end, being back in the days of terracing. 

"That was our chance to get on the pitch which cut Blake's goal celebration short. After a quick dance on the pitch and a two finger salute to the Yorkshire b*****ds I tried to get back in our end. Just as I had one foot over the hoardings, a copper pulled me back and I lost my balance and fell to the ground with this copper on top of me. 

"I got up and made another attempt to get back in with my brother and a few lads pulling me in, but with this copper pulled me back and then Ripppppppppp my shirt got torn from the bottom to the collar. I was then frog-marched out of the ground, with a ripped shirt and dirt all up my back.

"Outside I was stuck in a police van with a few other Geordies, but to our surprise five minutes later we were all let out. We made a quick dash back inside the ground to find out Arsenal had lost and we went mental again. This time I stayed off the pitch."


Occasion:  Watford (h) 1990
Location:  St.James' Park
Guilty Party:  KE

"Ejected while dressed as Russ Abbott's Fat Mountie (it was my 23rd birthday.) Also in the crowd that day were;

"A Monk, two Freddie Starr Hitlers,  an SAS Officer, Minnie the Minx, a Hobo, a six foot Andy Pandy, Santa, Dick Turpin, a six foot bottle of ketchup, a Cavalier, a Viking, A teenage mutant ninja turtle, A man in a bin and a Mexican riding an emu.

"Me and the monk were in Bourgognes for 4.05pm. Apparently I'd been making gestures at the referee, and while being escorted out was shouting 'Who's come as the copper?'


Occasion:  Man United (a) 2000
Location:  Old Trafford
Guilty Party: Rich

"I got on a bus early on the Sunday morning having been clubbing the night before. Feeling ever so slightly inebriated, I thought the only possible thing to do to pull me round a bit was to start drinking the 8 cans i'd brought with me.

"8 cans later (around noon) we arrived in Manchester at some dodgy bar, and by this point I could feel the drink taking effect. However I kept on drinking (on the trebles by now) and when I eventually got to the ground I was in a less than clever state. 

"Sporting my new all black away top and a brand new air horn i stumbled towards the toon turnstiles. There the steward decided that the air horn wasn't coming in, as it was "an offensive weapon" Being 10 sheets to the wind I of course argued with him a little bit before setting the air horn off in his face. This blew all his hair blew back as if he was in a hurricane, and next thing I knew, three coppers were escorting me off the premises...."


Occasion: Millwall (a) 1988
Location:  The (old) Den
Guilty Party:  JH

"I got thrown out of 'The Den' the day we went down 4-0 to mighty Millwall. I was standing next to a flight of steps that went through the terracing and this one plod was walking up and down them all game, trying to look menacing. 

"On one 'sweep' down the way he tripped and fell over, at which point I pissed myself laughing. He got up, face like thunder and dragged me off, whilst I continued to giggle uncontrollably. 

"I was ejected forthwith but not actually arrested even though in these dark days of supporter victimisation the charge of 'laughing at a police officer' was, surprisingly, not a criminal offence.

"Still, I only missed the last five minutes. Shame." 


Occasion: Spurs (a) 1980's 
Location:  White Hart Lane (again)
Guilty Party:  JH

"I was chucked out of S(W)hite Hart Lane and put into a cage in the ground during the miner's strike in the 80's. There I was with my shirt on with about 30 spurs fans - pleasant? not really.

"I had been sitting (we had to buy Spurs tickets to get in) with a group of about 30 Mags, just above the terrace where the main body of toon fans were.

"The match was crap - I can't remember the score either. What I do remember is the locals singing: Maggie Thatcher, Maggie Thatcher, we'll support you ever more, etc

"The Mags were singing the Arthur Scargill version. So it was politically very polarised as well as the usual hatreds.

"With about 10 minutes to go a huge number of Spurs fans had congregated behind us ready to charge. Significantly there were only 2 coppers visible, the rest being on picket duty elsewhere!

"One of the coppers came over and said to me: 'This is gonna be fun' and pointed out the hoolies closing in on us. He then said: 'Well, must go now' before adding, 'by the way, I'm a Sunderland fan' and he had that whinging, whining accent to prove it.

"Needless to say, as the two cops left the crowd charged. I was pushed over edge of the upstairs seating area to the terrace below. In the fall (about 20 feet) I lost all my money, ID, watch, everything. Then two more coppers thought I was trying to attack the Mags (I was wearing my toon shirt, for f**ks sake). So I was arrested and put into what can only be described as a cage for the next hour with about 30 Spurs hoolies.

"When I eventually got out I had to get to South London, where I was living. Fortunately I recognised a Mag straggler coming out of a pub. He couldn't remember me though but agreed to lend me 50p to get home."   


Occasion: Bournemouth (h) 1990
Location: St.James' Park
Guilty Party:  PL

"My strange story of being chucked out of a NUFC match was when we attended the hallowed St James to see Ardiles' lumpen also-rans play Bournemouth (and lose on penalties) in the cup just before the Argentinean got his P45. Unfortunately due to my tender years - 16 - I was in the midst of my teenage crisis years and had long hair (and spots but that's by the by).

"I paid me money (2 in the Gallowgate if you could pass for 14 which I couldn't but no one seems to care then), walked in and was promptly sent back out by a senior Boy in Blue due, bizarrely, to my long hair.

"He said that because it was a windy evening my hair could get in the way of other supporters and that they could start trouble with me because their view was being limited by my follicular growth. Yes, I was mystified, partly by what he was saying and partly because at the time the stadium was hardly likely to be heaving.

"He was most likely having a joke on a quiet night and it was me that was the butt of his humour but I was escorted off the premises.

"I simply went around to the turnstiles, paid 2 again and went and watched the match but it still rankles with me all this time later (especially as if I'd brought a couple of elastic bands I could have had a 'Cordone' therefore leaving my fellow toon supporters with a full, unobstructed view of the terrible car crash of a match that went on that night).

"I might add, I had a short back and sides shortly afterwards and have never stopped me in the 10 years since. Coincidence? I doubt it..."


Occasion:  QPR (a) 1995
Location:  Loftus Road
Guilty Party: DS

"Sir Les was still playing for the hoops, and grabbed a hat-trick. As his third went in I gave the finger to the 200 schoolboys Rangers' fans sitting to our left. It made me feel better for 15 seconds until Plod tapped me on the shoulder.... 

"None of that 'He's done nowt man, leave him alone' stuff from my mates, just general guffawing and the sort of "Cheerio" quips normally reserved for fans of the opposition." 



And finally for now, a reader who didn't get hoyed out, but probably should have been.....

Occasion:  Unidentified home game 1960's
Location: St.James' Park
Guilty Party:  BR and a female "friend"

"I scored at the Leazes End or I should say in the Leazes End. 

"It must have been mid to late 60's, the days of lasses wearing short skirts and stockings, which made doing the deed fairly easy. Those steps were the right height and the swaying of the crowd helped." 

"Just as well there was no goals as I might have forgotten what I was doing and invaded the pitch!"




Page last updated 24 June, 2009