The 156th senior competitive Tyne-wear derby took place on Sunday afternoon in SR5 and went the way of the team that actually turned up.

Fittingly, a United blunder gifted the hosts victory on an afternoon when a bemusingly pathetic display from those in blue got what it merited. Nothing.

It appeared that Eddie Howe had set his side up for a scoreless draw but Nick Woltemade had other ideas, planting a firm header past Aaron Ramsdale inside the first minute of the second half.

Quite what the German was attempting is anyone's guess as he met a cross from the right unopposed in his own area. A deft flick would have taken it away and a firm header could have conceded a corner but what he managed was perfect in its execution, leaving Ramsdale completely stranded.

Woltemade looked suitably distraught but he and his colleagues' attempts to salvage the situation bordered on desperate and hapless for the rest of the game, Regis Le Bris' side comfortably absorbing what was minimal pressure.

The only fight shown by Eddie Howe's side came in the final few seconds as both sides squared up to each other following Joe Willock's nothing challenge on Robin Roefs.

It was an apology of a performance from a side that seemingly didn't want to be there and had absolutely no game plan.

Timid or intimidated, the outcome was the same - United contributing little to what was an atrocious game of football, conceding early rather that late in a half for variety....

In the game of ifs and buts, the own goal provider may not have been that exact area of his own box had Dan Burn by then not been sampling the back of an ambulance.

The defender was unable to continue after what looked like a deliberate knee in the chest as he and Nordi Mukiele both went to ground just inside the Newcastle half.

The assailant saw only yellow instead of red, but the Blyth man only fleetingly continued after treatment and soon left the field for a hospital assessment of rib damage after he reported breathing difficulties.

Fabian Schar replaced him in central defence but most of the problems came at the other end of the pitch where Anthonys Gordon and Elanga were at their worst, both dribbling the ball out of play to the home fans' merriment.

A reluctance to take on opponents and try to draw fouls was as tedious and frustrating as surrendering possession; continually turning back for an unthreatening pass.

Others severely denting their reputations included Sandro Tonali who was withdrawn before the hour looking less than match fit and the goalscorer, who eventually made way for Yoane Wissa in the 75th minute.

That like-for-like switch was utterly futile, although the number nine almost got on the end of a deflected cross five minutes after joining the action.

Fellow substitutes Jacob Murphy and Harvey Barnes also contributed very little in the final half hour, while Willock's hopeless shank into the stand in the closing seconds when well placed spoke volumes. If Jacob Ramsey cannot find a place in this team, just how rotten must he be?

Ramsdale stopped mackem substitute Wilson Isidor's fierce near post drive late on but had an otherwise quiet afternoon.

The last few seconds of confrontation between the two sides saw Bruno, Willock and Malick Thiaw all cautioned while Isidor was yellow-carded for them. Granit Xhaka also left the field for treatment to a cut eye.

Newcastle ended the day 12th in the league and four points behind their hosts who moved up to seventh.

As meek a derby display as we've served up in living memory was as unpalatable as it was unfathomable, summed up by the way it was lost - a joke goal topping a joke display, ensuring defeat by the most ordinary of opponents.

We may well have other fish to fry this season, but today wasn't about European advancement or trophy defence.

Despite the pre-game rhetoric from his players, the manager and his staff singularly failed to organise or inspire the players. They had one job - and utterly failed to do it.

The meek may well inherit the earth but securing derby day bragging rights requires rather stouter hearts than this.

Full match report to follow.

Team: Ramsdale, Livramento, Thiaw, Burn (Schar 42), Hall, L.Miley, Guimaraes, Tonali (Willock 59), Gordon (Barnes 59), Woltemade (Wissa 75), Elanga (J.Murphy 59).
Subs n/u: Ruddy, A.Murphy, Ramsey, Joelinton.

Booked: Tonali, Guimaraes, Willock, Thiaw.

SMB: Roefs, Mukiele, Ballard, Alderete, Mandava, Xhaka, Sadiki, Traore (Hume 70), Le Fee, Talbi (Mundle 83), Brobbey (Isidor 70).
Subs n/u: Patterson, Adingra, Geertruida, Mayenda, Neil, Rigg.

Booked: Brobbey, Mukiele, Mandava, Le Fee, Isidor.

Goal: og (Woltemade 46).

Crowd: 47,158. That included 2,528 away fans who suffered in the upper tier of the North Stand, having made their way there by club buses and also independently after travel restrictions were lifted.

Some joined in the minute's applause before kick-off for ex-mackem forward Gary Rowell who famously scored a hat-trick at SJP in 1979 and whose death was announced on the eve of the game at the age of 68.

After the game Eddie Howe said:

"That will sting for a long time. We know our performance was off what we needed to to be. Not defensively, we defended well. It was a game of few chances.

"Unfortunately, the one big moment goes against us, it was a bizarre moment. But we weren’t good enough to open them up.

"I am disappointed for the supporters and sorry for our performance, for a lack of goalmouth action and clinical attacking. It certainly wasn’t a lack of effort.

"But the first 60 minutes I don’t think we posed a threat at all. It wasn’t the finest day for any of our front players. The openings were there, with a better decision or pass. The quality was not there in that phase of the game.

"The changes had a positive impact but we didn’t work their goalkeeper anywhere near enough. We didn’t sustain the pressure enough.

"Losing is a horrible feeling and this is painful."

On injury victim Dan Burn:

"(It's) unfortunate for us, we're losing players in one area of the pitch and our back line is stretched.

"We've got a number of absentees and so to lose another one in the colossal presence that Dan is, was a big one today.

"I don't know quite how serious it is. It looks like a rib problem. He's gone to hospital to get them checked. But that was a big blow for us because Dan's been an ever-present player.”

Referee: Peter Bankes - fourth PL appearance this season in charge of the Magpies, following the 0-0 draw at Leeds, 2-0 win over Nottingham Forest and 2-1 win over Fulham.

VAR: Stuart Attwell.

Stats:

Nick Woltemade scored only the second Tyne-wear derby own goal in the Premier League. The other was by fellow Magpie Demba Ba in October 2012 - an unfortunate late equaliser from close in at the other end of this place.

Following the one accredited to Bruno Guimaraes against Bayer Leverkusen, Woltemade's misadventure meant that Newcastle players registered own goals in consecutive competitive senior games - unusual, but not unique.

Similar misfortune befell United during December 2006, when Steven Taylor put the ball into his own net against Spurs at SJP and Peter Ramage repeated the feat away to Bolton Wanderers in the next game (both in the PL).

SMB v NUFC - PL era: 
(all PL unless specified)

2025/26 lost 0-1
2023/24 won 3-0 og(Ballard), Isak 2(1pen) (FAC)
2015/16 lost 0-3
2014/15 lost 0-1
2013/14 lost 1-2 Debuchy
2012/13 drew 1-1 Cabaye
2011/12 won 1-0 R.Taylor
2010/11 drew 1-1 Nolan
2008/09 lost 1-2 Sh.Ameobi
2007/08 drew 1-1 Milner
2005/06 won 4-1 Chopra, Shearer, N'Zogbia, Luque
2002/03 won 1-0 Solano
2001/02 won 1-0 (Dabizas
2000/01 drew 1-1 A.O'Brien
1999/00 drew 2-2 Domi, Helder
1996/97 won 2-1 Beardsley, Ferdinand
1992/93 won 2-1 og, L.O'Brien (D1)

Latest PL results:

Sat 13.12.2025:
Chelsea 2-0 Everton
Liverpool 2-0 Brighton & Hove Albion
Burnley 2-3 Fulham
Arsenal 2-1 Wolves

Sun 14.12.2025:
Crystal Palace 0-3 Manchester City
Nottingham Forest 3-0 Spurs
mackems 1-0 Newcastle
West Ham United 2-3 Aston Villa
Brentford 1-1 Leeds United

Mon 15.12.2025:
Manchester United 4-4 Bournemouth

Update:
Veitch books: last orders

We're posting copies of Keith Colvin Smith's excellent biography of Newcastle United legend Colin Veitch out this week for anyone still wanting any.

Originally published at £35, the 200 page hardback book is now on sale for just £10 + delivery*. To reserve copies, email [email protected] confirming your postcode.

* due to book size & weight, UK delivery only possible

Carabao Cup:
Fulham (h)

Defending their title, Newcastle take their place in the last eight of the Carabao Cup when they host the Cottagers at SJP on Wednesday.

It's an 8.15pm kick-off, live on ITV1 and Sky Sports and if the scores are level after 90 minutes, the tie will be settled by a penalty shootout.

ST holders on the Carabao Cup scheme gain access by using their season ticket, with tickets for this tie automatically uploaded - no action is necessary.

Carabao Cup scheme members whose initial payment failed or who were relocated from their usual seat for this tie  should have received an individual ticket.

Quarter Final ties:

Tue 16.12.2025 Cardiff City v Chelsea (8pm)
Wed 17.12.2025 Manchester City v Brentford (7.30pm)
Wed 17.12.2025 Newcastle v Fulham (8.15pm
Tue 23.12.2025 Arsenal v Crystal Palace (8pm)

Semi-final draw details are tbc, with two-legged ties scheduled for wc Mon 12.01.2026 & Mon 02.02.2026.

Team: Kieran Trippier, Sven Botman, William Osula and Emil Krafth remain out, with Nick Pope's fitness as yet unclear. Jamaal Lascelles is presumably unavailable.

Dan Burn is an addition to the injured list after sustaining rib damage in Sunday's derby encounter.

Coral rate this tie as follows:

NUFC win 7/10
The draw 3/1
FFC win 19/5

New customers receive a £20 bet when staking £5 on sports (T's & C's apply). Find those markets online here   

FFC: Ryan Sessegnon and Rodrigo Muniz remain sidelined, while AFCON participation with Nigeria sees Calvin Bassey, Alex Iwobi and Samuel Chukwueze all unavailable.

Ahead of their second visit to Tyneside in less than three months - losing here 2-1 in the PL - Fulham won 3-2 at Burnley on Saturday night.

Marco Silva's side reached this stage thanks to home victories over Bristol City and Cambridge United followed by a penalty shootout success at Wycombe Wanderers.

The Cottagers have taken an allocation of 1,700 places.

Referee: Darren England - first appearance at a Magpies fixture for the Doncaster native since a 5-0 PL home win over Crystal Palace in April 2024. 

VAR: n/a

UK TV: Live on ITV1 and Sky Sports

Overseas TV: (more to follow)
Arena Premium 2 HD (Serbia)
Arena 4 (Hungary)
Arena Sport 1 HD (Bosnia)
Astro Go/Grandstand (Malaysia)
beIN Connect MENA HD
beIN Sports MENA 3 HD
beIN Sports MENA English 1 HD
Claro TV+ (Brazil)
DAZN Canada/Japan
Diema Sport 3 (Bulgaria)
Digi Sport 2 Romania HD
ESPN Caribbean
ESPN3 Brazil
EXXEN Digital Turkey
Fancode (India)
Kyivstar (Ukraine)
MONOMAX (Thailand)
Paramount+ (USA)
Setanta Sports+ (Ukraine)
Sky Sport Premier League Germany/Top Event HD
Sky+ Brazil
Sport 2 Israel
Sport TV3 Portugal HD
TV3 MAX (Denmark)
ViaPlay Den/Fin/Ice/Ned/Nor/Swe
Vivo Play (Brazil)
Zapping (Brazil)

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UK Radio: Live on talkSPORT2

Roads: Barrack Road will be closed to traffic post-match between Stanhope Street and St. James' Boulevard, beginning at the final whistle or earlier and continuing up to 45 minutes after full time or when crowds disperse.

Buses: Due to the closure of Barrack Road, Go North East X50 football services to the Metro Centre will depart from St. James’ Boulevard, outside the Citygate building.

Stagecoach buses stopping on Barrack Road will be diverted and passengers required to use alternative bus stops while the post-match closure is in place. Details here

Metro: No scheduled disruptions.

Rail: Scheduled disruptions are online here

Stats:

Newcastle are playing in the quarter-finals of the League Cup for the thirteenth time; this is the fourth successive season that Eddie Howe has reached the last eight:

Had to come to London:
West End boys

Following a successful run at Newcastle's Theatre Royal - with more dates there next summer - "Gerry & Sewell" are heading to London's West End next month.

Filmed as "Purely Belter", Jamie Eastlake's stage adaptation of Jonathan Tulloch's book, "The Season Ticket" tells the tale of two Toon fans and their quest for their holy grail of Newcastle season tickets, despite being totally skint....

Tickets are on sale now for performances at the Aldwych Theatre between January 13th and 24th 2026, with seat prices starting from just £10 available online here

Warning: may contain graphic references to Steve Bruce.

U19s:
Kyle cracker not enough

The Magpies return to Premier League action on Saturday, when Enzo Maresca's side visit SJP for a 12.30pm kick-off that's live on TNT Sports.

Team: To follow

Bruno Guimaraes goes into this game with four PL bookings to his name: a fifth against either Chelsea, Manchester United or Burnley will result in a one game suspension.

Coral rate this game as follows:

NUFC win 6/4
The draw 5/2
CFC win 13/8

New customers receive a £20 bet when staking £5 on sports (T's & C's apply). Find those markets online here   

CFC: Ahead of their trip to Gallowgate, the Blues are at Championship side Cardiff City in the Carabao Cup quarter final on Tuesday night.

Cole Palmer won't travel to Wales but is expected to be in the squad for Newcastle. No Chelsea players have been selected for AFCON duty.

A 2-0 Premier League home win over Everton last time out ended a three game winless streak in that competition.

Referee: Andrew Madley - first appointment of the season involving United for the West Yorkshire whistler. Madley's most recent Toon game was the 0-4 defeat at Manchester City back in February and he's not officiated at SJP since the 3-3 draw with Liverpool during December 2024.

VAR: Peter Bankes

UK TV: Live on TNT Sports

Overseas TV: tbc

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